in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
