Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize