It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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