Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
