No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
