my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Your penis caused this!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
