Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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