dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
