I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
