Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize