you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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