what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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