You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
