the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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