You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
