there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
