Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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