I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
