my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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