you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
