Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
