I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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