***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
