If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
