Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
