got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
