She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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