Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
