i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
