I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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