We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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