I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm jealous of your bromance
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
