Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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