I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How external is "for external use only"?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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