I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
