remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
