Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
