I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
