dude i'm inner monologue high
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
