yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
