real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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