I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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