i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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