you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize