you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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