can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
