I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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