Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
