Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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