She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
