It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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