If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Your penis caused this!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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