I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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