PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
