What did we do last night that was yellow?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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