I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
