I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
