Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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