pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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