Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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