we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
